Chuck Norris’s toughness is so legendary, there are hundreds of Chuck Norris jokes on the internet about his strength and fearsomeness. For example:

  • Guns are warned not to play with Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
  • Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.

But what if Chuck Norris was an exhibitor?  What feats of strength, endurance, and excellence could Chuck bring to trade shows?  The mind boggles at the possibilities:

  1. Chuck Norris sent a direct mail pre-show promotion to 100 pre-registered attendees – and 101 came.
  2. Show contractors are so scared of Chuck Norris, they don’t charge him drayage.
  3. Half of Chuck Norris’s competitors backed out of the show when they heard he was exhibiting there.
  4. Chuck Norris is so smart, he selected a show where 100% of the entire buying market was attending.
  5. Chuck Norris fixed a broken weld on his exhibit by squeezing it.  With only two fingers.  Of his left hand.
  6. Chuck Norris installed an island trade show exhibit in just one hour.  Without tools, instructions, or a ladder.  On straight time.  With a 15-minute break.
  7. When Chuck Norris did a social media promotion for his trade show booth via Twitter, he caused the #failwhale to appear – and then it asked for his autograph.
  8. Chuck Norris doesn’t need crowd gathers when he booth staffs; he needs crowd dispersers.
  9. Chuck Norris doesn’t need to qualify leads, because all his leads are “A” leads.
  10. Chuck Norris doesn’t need to measure his trade show results, because they all bought.
  11. When Chuck Norris had a typo on his booth graphics, the dictionary changed its spelling of the word.
  12. Chuck Norris worked an entire 5-day show in Germany, 10 hours a day, standing up, without a break, in cowboy boots that were 2 sizes too small.  And still looked great.
  13. Chuck Norris can eat convention center food every day of the show. Twice a day.
  14. Chuck Norris’s exhibit was declared “Best of Show” – before it was set up.
  15. Chuck Norris can set up a banner stand in under a second – just by looking at it.
  16. Chuck Norris doesn’t need a stapler to attach business cards to lead cards – he just pinches them together.
  17. None of the brochures Chuck Norris gives attendees get thrown away before the attendees return to their offices.  Or after.
  18. Chuck Norris had his island exhibit completely packed after the show — before his crates returned from drayage.
  19. Chuck Norris took a lead from every single attendee at the show.  On the first day.

If Chuck Norris were writing Chuck Norris exhibitor jokes, he would have come up with 100.  Help a regular guy out, and add your own!