Greg PetersGood news boys and girls, LinkedIn just informed me that I am in the top 1 percent of most-viewed profiles for 2012.

Check this out, I’m looking into the camera, and here it comes. “I’m going to Disneyworld.” And there it was, spoken just like a Super Bowl MVP caught on camera just after the game. I’m in the top 1 percent; I scored a trip to Mouse-Land.

Being one of LinkedIn’s top 1 percent is an honor I’ve worked a lifetime to achieve. Pulitzer Prize be damned. Nobel Peace prize? Nothing doing. Grammy shmammy, I’ve won myself a Linkie. I just know Barack or Oprah will be calling me soon.

I need to know what sort of standards the fashion police have put on the Linkie Awards Show before I spring for a low-cut gown with a high-rise slit in the side. It could be a deal-breaker.

I trust that thongs are still “problematic.” You can all thank your lucky stars on that one.

Oy vey, how did things get this far out of hand? How did I land in the top 1 percent?

Perhaps this is a good thing. On the plus side, being ranked in the top 1 percent means a lot of people looked at my profile in the past year. Maybe I should add some bling to make the thing really sing.

If I could monetize all those peeping Toms that took the time to check me out, I wouldn’t be sitting here at 2 a.m. blogging while I wait for my late-night freelance editing shift to end. I’d be home free sitting in tall cotton.

LinkedIn says in the past three days I’ve shown up 57 times in people’s searches. Better than that, 23 people have looked at my profile in the past 15 days. Last week, I appeared in search results 265 times.

If I’m reading this chart right, I’ve been in search results 2,446 times since November. These are hall of fame numbers, and I did it all without the benefit of performance-enhancing tweets .

Holy Moly Bat Man, I am rockin’ the Linkies with numbers like these. How can I not be employed?

Why just yesterday two people, who I have no idea who they are or why they’re looking, were caught by the LinkedIn gremlins peering at my profile. Now I know how super model Kate Upton feels with all those ogling eyes on her.

I’ve got 1,492 connections on my LinkedIn account, and that’s some pretty rare air even for the most seasoned social media type. Those 1,400-plus connections put me within one click of more than 9 million professionals — 39,564 of which are new to my network since Saturday. Yah, Saturday a couple of days ago.

My guess is that this brand of fame and fortune is a lot like Bay Watch star David Hasselhoff being huge in Germany.

How can I not be employed?

After a day of thinking about my Linkie, I’ve decided to honor the spirit in which it is given.

They always say any news is good news so long as they spell your name right. And if people are looking, that means I’m still in play. That or I’ve annoyed the heck out of enough people with my blog that they have clicked over to LinkedIn to make sure I’m for real and not just another Cyber stalker.

Either way, thanks for the clicking.

There is a part of me that wonders what the end game is for all this traffic? How does one end up on the high end of the viewing scale, but on the low end of the job offer scale?

Maybe simple answer is that I’ve had numerous interviews in the past year, and I’m sure many can be attributed to the people who looked at my LI profile. So I’m saying the glass is half full.

Now I firmly believe that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone and there are no space aliens. But I’m wondering if it’s just coincidence that LinkedIn gave me this honor the day after I signed up for its premium service?

Conspiracy or not, it’s my Linkie, and I’m putting that party dress on order and I’m heading to the Linkies.

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