No one enjoys criticism. They only act like they do. Whether you’re an everyday person or a big celebrity, handling criticism is tough. Many famous people steer clear of negative reviews to escape the feedback. Sadly, if it’s your boss, a customer, or someone close to you giving the criticism, you’ll have to listen to it.
Here’s the thing about criticism: it can hurt to hear, but if you ignore it, you miss out on ways to grow and improve. For instance, if you’re an aspiring chef and the dish you think is your best tastes terrible, wouldn’t you want to know? If you’re aiming for a promotion but your grammar is lacking, not being aware of your mistakes could cost you that opportunity. If you always shut out criticism and refuse to listen, that behavior can limit your growth both personally and professionally.
Of course, some criticism you might need to ignore. It is possible that you have frenemies –whether at work or in your personal life — who are trying to hold you back. All that trying to please them will do is frustrate you. And if you run a business where you have to deal with customer criticism, some criticism may be valid, while other complaints may simply be an excuse to get free merchandise.
So what should you do when you hear criticism? Here are a few tips:
- Listen, and don’t react right away: You may feel the need to get defensive, and rightfully so, if the criticism is wrong. But starting an argument isn’t productive. Instead, why not let the other person speak, and take a deep breath before responding. If you don’t feel up to saying something at the moment, it is okay to say that you would like to think about what the person said first. Or you can just say something like “Thank you for your comments,” and not react specifically at all. Of course, if it is your supervisor criticizing you, you will need to respond.
- Consider the source: Is the person complaining about you super-critical of others? Does the critic have your best interests at heart? Those are the type of questions you should be asking. Again, though, if it’s your supervisor doing the criticizing, you have to take his or her comments into consideration. And if it is a customer, you ought to pay attention as well.
- If the criticism is vague, ask follow-up questions: For example, if it is your boss telling you he did not like your work on a project, and does not explain what he didn’t like, you may want to try to get your boss to be more specific about what issues he had. As painful a process it may be, it will be less painful than having to redo the project over and over without knowing what your manager did not like in your work.
- Ask yourself, does this person have a point? It is so difficult to look objectively upon yourself, especially when hearing what can be harsh criticism. But sometimes, such criticism is really constructive. You may need to do a little soul-searching. If you have heard such complaints before from others, it is possible that the criticism is something you need to work on. And the positive thing is that you may become a better employee/friend/spouse or even person by changing. As a matter of fact, if it is a supervisor doing the criticism, you do need to acknowledge his or her point, or find yourself on the unemployment line.
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