balmer arrested in "i have drugs" shirt

Along with the new year, it seems that time has ushered in the abrupt loss of one Florida man’s faith in reverse psychology forever. The man’s disillusionment was brought on recently by a clever disguise, consisting mainly of an “I love drugs” t-shirt, which failed to keep him from landing in jail on drug possession charges. The fun began when John Balmer, 50, entered a Hudson, Florida Kmart on Tuesday wearing the less than stealth garment.  The full message which adorned the tell-tale shirt read, “Who needs drugs?  No, seriously I have drugs.”

The Pasco County Sherriff’s Office, who totally couldn’t resist posting a picture of Balmer in the shirt on their Facebook page, revealed that one of their deputies first became suspicious while observing Balmer attempting to pass a small plastic bag to another customer in the Kmart’s check-out line. Much to Balmer’s dismay however, the customer suddenly appeared unwilling to explore the results of blatantly participating in a drug deal in front of the cops. Finally realizing the transaction may have been compromised, Balmer retreated to a nearby cash register where he aborted the mission by placing the baggie on the ground.

He then returned to the initial cash wrap to pay for his purchases and hope for the best. Alas, however, the best was not to come for poor Balmer. It seems that store employees had somehow managed to see through the dealer’s slick facade and alerted Police to the abandoned baggie’s location. The mysterious stash was soon investigated by officers on the scene and was discovered, to the surprise of no one ever, to contain illegal drugs.

Authorities say that Balmer was charged with one count of possession of methamphetamine and another count of possession of marijuana not more than 20 grams. The shirt continues to cooperate fully in the investigation.