I know you LOVE these funny Twitter bios. Yes, they’re real and they’re fabulous. Here we go!
@organising
Let me bitch at you every day until you sort your shit out.
@Newtoblogging
Maybe I should rethink this, when I spelled it Blooging at first.
@danecook
When I tweet, I tweet to kill.
@maurastl
Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.
@SALJmum
Making the Snuggie look good since 2009.
@fiona_mca
Trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.
@ankurtz
Currently starring in my own reality show titled, A Modern Cinderella; One Girl’s Search for Love and Shoes.
@Maya_Abeille
Generally, the path of least resistance appeals. Also, I am superb at parallel parking.
@DudeGurlz
I’m Kail, I was given a girl’s name when I was a baby because my parents are idiots.
@webbrd
Former military guy & cop. Leprechauns freak me out.
@mdvaldosta
Where the hell am I, and how did I get here?
@bargold
Born at a very young age.
@andrealown
Good Samaritan, washed-up athlete, especially gifted napper.
@gabrielfoley
another papercut survivor
@phampants
Absolutely awkward, proud nerd & geek, decreaser of world suck
@carlosbenevides
Lover of pork, runner (’cause of all the pork)
@jasondill
99% of the time my brain is thinking blah, meh, why, huh, WTF, food and computers. The other 1% i’m usually asleep.
@grbinder (Greg)
Trying to change the name from Tweeting to Gregging
@marcmack
Marc is a man with a dream. A very simple dream, mostly involving nachos and beer, but a dream nonetheless.
@oldfox004
Winner of World’s Best Wife Award (Category: Nagging)
@pathfinderpat
I’m going to reveal the two secrets of my success: One) Don’t reveal everything.
BONUS CONTENT!
Sometimes you just run into a Twitter bio that is so bad that it’s funny! Here are some clunkers:
- Transforming unconscious survival patterns into strategic (authentic) leadership by harmonizing your thinking (IQ), feelings (EQ), communication and actions.
- Life’s so Fun-tastic. Just Be Alive!!!
- Good morning. I behave decently to everyone without any expectation of rewards or punishment after I’m dead.
- Decoding the million wonderful and inspiring stories within the quirky world of accounting.
- I’m fabulous. I’m an incredible dresser, I’ve got buckets of money, I’m a hoot and a half and I got a killer rack.
… well, thanks for stopping by today. If you keep reading, I’ll keep “racking” up those funny bios!
Illustration: I just made that lion thing up because apparently I have too much time on my hands.
Previous funny Twitter bio editions:
20 of the world’s most clever Twitter bios