We bring you more in our series ‘101 most ridiculous IT Service requests’.
What’s that? More ridiculous IT service desk requests? Further proof that when offered microchips, some will always want a portion of microfish too?
Behold, another clutch of silicon-supported silliness, from leading Linux support specialists LinuxIT.
Number 17.
User: “I can’t find Word on my computer anywhere.”
Helpdesk: “Okay, well, the machine you bought doesn’t come with MS Word.”
User: “Why not?”
Helpdesk: “MS Word is a separate product. We sell it if you’d like to buy it.”
User: “Hold on, my mate has Word on his computer. Why’ve you sold me an incomplete computer?”
Helpdesk: “Some PCs come with it as standard and others don’t.”
User: “Okay, I’ll call in and buy Word then.”
[Two hours after purchasing MS Office, the same customer is back on the phone]
User: “I want to make a complaint about this bloody software you’ve sold me.”
Helpdesk: “Okay, what seems to be the problem?”
User: “There’s no seems about it! It’s a pile of junk.”
Helpdesk: “Can you be more specific, sir?”
User: “Whenever I type something, it makes red lines under the text. How can I send someone an important letter with red lines all over it?”
Number 18.
User: “Hello? Is that the helpdesk?”
Helpdesk: “Yes. How may I be of assistance?”
User: “The cup holder on my PC is broken.”
Helpdesk: “I’m sorry; did you say cup holder?”
User: “Yes, it’s attached to the front of my computer.”
Helpdesk: “Please excuse my ignorance, but how did you get this cup holder? Was it a promotional gift?”
User: “It came with the computer. I don’t know anything about a promotion, but it does have ‘4X’ and ‘RW’ on it.”
Number 19.
User: “The install fails at the halfway point, every time.”
Helpdesk: “Are you getting an error message? What does it say?”
User: “It says, ‘Please insert Disk 2.'”
Helpdesk: “Is there another disk there?”
User: “Yes.”
Helpdesk: “Is it labelled ‘Disk 2’?”
User: “Yes, it is.”
Helpdesk: “Could you insert that disk into the drive, and click ‘OK’?”
User: “Yes… Wow, thanks! It’s installing now. What was it, a faulty disk or something?”
Number 20.
Helpdesk: “ISP technical support. What seems to be the problem?”
User: “I was wondering if you could help me. Do you know those 55 gallon drums that they hold cooking oil in? The ones they use at takeaways and such?”
Helpdesk: “Yes… I think so.”
User: “Well, I was wondering if you could tell me why they chose that number.”
Helpdesk: “What number?”
User: “55.”
Helpdesk: “Sir, this is technical support for the internet.”
User: “Yes, I know.”
Helpdesk: “I’m sorry. I’m a little confused on how you think that I can help?”
User: “Well, could you look it up for me and maybe put it on your web page?”
Helpdesk: “… I’m afraid not, sir. I don’t think my supervisor would see it as an appropriate use of my time.”
User: “… Okay.”
Helpdesk: “Have you tried Googling it yourself?”
User: “Yes. I’m not much use at that sort of thing though… Tell you what; if you happen to come across it could you let me know?”
Helpdesk: “Erm – Okay. If I find out, I’ll let you know. Bye.”
Number 21.
Helpdesk: “That’s not a problem; I can help you install the software.”
User: “Thanks.”
Helpdesk: “Okay, can you insert the disk in the drive for me, please?”
User: “How?”
Helpdesk: “Place the disk in the slot or tray at the front of your machine.”
User: “Will I have to have my computer delivered before we can do this?”
Helpdesk: “… Yes. That might be a good idea.”
In our capacity as a Linux systems management specialist, we at LinuxIT pride ourselves on the ability to handle any request, from the simplest to the most perplexing, with the same high standard of professionalism. We build, migrate and maintain cost-effective and flexible Open Source systems, making us the leading specialists in Linux implementation and support services.
