Somehow I got on the mailing list of The Blue Fish Concierge, from whence I landed at “Fish Food,” the blog. Swimming in this sea commands a hefty toll.
At Fish Food, I chowed down on the Buggatti family sedan, expected to retail for $1.42 million at the time of its release in fall 2012. I sneaked a peek at the outside of several of the most expensive hotels in the world. I gawked at a pair of $18,000 flip flops. Glub. Glub. What the heck is going on here? Who needs this stuff and why?
Maybe — if you’re a marketing strategist — you do. So I figured “Why not?” I, too, can blog about toys for the dripping rich.
Here are the pitch points I picked up at Fish Food.
Just A Few Left
Your wealthy prospect will want the Buggatti family sedan, but might not get one. Make sure he/she knows that “time is of the essence.” Buggatti (owned by VW … who knew?) expects to sell no more than 1,500 of the “Galibier” model. No, not just next year …ever. So if you want one, hurry up.
Justifiable Extravagance
Your teenager isn’t the only one wearing flip-flops. You gotta have ’em … but $18,000 a pair? Well, sure, (I guess) if you can show customers how to simultaneously flaunt their bank accounts and save the Costa Rican rainforest. That’s right, flop manufacturer Chipkos not only sells you the sandal, but throws in two-nights at the eco-friendly Beverly Hills Montage Hotel, a “meet and greet” with the flip-flop designer, and a guarantee to protect 100 square feet of rainforest. (How do they make any money on this utterly fab deal?)
Who’s Who Becomes You
The Dorchester Collection is a group of 5-star luxury hotels in London, Beverly Hills, Bel Air, Milan, and Paris. Only nine of these unique properties exist and you’d better duck because the names are dropping from every vaulted chandelier. Architect, designer, and rumored cold fish Thierry W. Despont joins the more accessible friendlier food master, Wolfgang Puck, as notables responsible for the good life at 45 Park Lane, Dorchester’s latest addition. Contributors to the other Dorchester hotels are no less renown. Fresh linens daily, guaranteed.
Everybody Who’s Anybody
World Cup 2014 is gonna be a blow-out and it’s not too early to nail down your seat. The Brazilians are building a 500-mile bullet-train railway from Sao Paulo to Rio. Five-star hotels are sprouting like weeds, and even the famous Favela slums are getting a spiff. Bottom line: IF you’re somebody, you will be there. End of pitch.
Because You Have Taste, Dammit
Ernest Shackleton trekked 25 cases of whiskey to Antarctica, some of which froze solid in the minus-22-degrees-Fahrenheit tundra. This Scottish whiskey is believed to have been bottled in 1896 and collectors crave it. If the cache goes on the open market — like whiskey lovers believe it should — the price could vault to hundreds of thousands dollars per bottle, not much for a connoisseur’s swig of the real deal.
Because You Can
The iPhone 4 Lady Blanche made by Gresso costs $30,000. C’mon… this gadget is crystal encrusted (What!? You expected diamonds?) and tells time in New York, London, and Moscow. And, Gresso says it takes “several hundred hours of labor-intensive process” to make the Lady Blanche. (How do they make any money on this utterly fab deal?)
So strike these points and you should strike it rich. Now (please excuse) …. I’m sorry … Tummy hurting …Must be all that rich food, whisky, and 300 hours of minimum-wage intensive labor. I sincerely hope you have top-drawer luck marketing to the rich. After all, they’ve earned it.
Haven’t they?