You got on Twitter, but you don’t tweet. You won’t show your face on Facebook, your Pinterest has a bunch of boards without any pins, and forget about Google Plus! There’s absolutely too much to do, and you don’t have enough time to goof around on the Interwebz. Does that sound like you? It actually sounds like a lot of people. There are so many ways to fail, and here are some more in case you haven’t tried these.
When people send you a tweet or tag you on Facebook, don’t respond. Turn off all notifications (what a nuisance!) and pretend not to notice anybody.
Post Once a Month
Post about 2,000 times once a month. Then stop until the same time next month. Calendar it now!
Use Broadcast Mode
Send out your messages continuously, and use UPPER CASE. And lots of punctuation marks!!!!!!!!! People love it when they think you’re yelling!
Don’t Say Anything
Alternately, adopt radio silence. Make like a cricket.
Post embarrassing pictures of your friends on Facebook without asking them and then tag them so that all their friends will see how great they look when they’re drunk and punching a cop in the face. When they ask you about it, laugh. If they ask you to take them down, say “why? you look so good!”
Take other people’s content and pretend it’s yours. When someone politely asks you to stop sharing your content, ignore them.
Make every story sound exactly like the last one. And the next one. And the one after that.
Use your tweets on Facebook, your Pinterest pins on Instagram, and act hurt when nobody comments on your things.
Post only pictures of dogs, nothing else. Or if you’re not into dogs, how about cookie jars? Or old spoons? Everybody finds fire hydrants as fascinating as you do!
Are you a member of the aluminum foil hat brigade? Let your freak flag fly and rant endlessly about aliens, conspiracies, the government, the other political party, how ObamaCare has failed, and so on. Here are some of the benefits and down sides of ranting.
What New Ways Have You Found to Fail?
Are you as amazed as I am at all the creative ways people find to fail? Let me know about it in the comments!