CheckPoint Technologies has launched a new software service which enables parents to monitor their childrens’ Facebook accounts. The program, dubbed ZoneAlarm Social Guard, fights cyberbullies the old-fashioned way: it knows where they live.

Social Guard informs parents when a creepy stranger befriends their child or a bully leaves an inappropriate message on his wall. The program even warns parents when an individual over a certain age sends a message to their child.

Social Guard uses algorithms to spot bullying or sexually inappropriate language. Furthermore, it can detect if your child is involved in a conversation about drugs, violence, or suicide.

Check Point vice president of consumer sales Bari Abdul said, “It’s about protecting your kids from the social threats out there, while still respecting their privacy and fostering open communication. He added, “We are offering Facebook users a simple way to embrace social networking safely.”

The catch? Social Guard does not monitor chat conversations or sexually explicit photos. Furthermore, PCWorld has reported that Social Guard is a little socially inept, flagging wall comments like “nazi” and “f—-t” but ignoring phrases like “I’m going to catch you after school and beat you up.”

The other catch? Your kids will probably hate you. The program is initiated by installing a Facebook app on their account. Furthermore, you will need to ask them for their login information.