I had a great conversation the other day with a client who is funny and smart and exceptionally self-aware. What I mean is that he is very conscious of how he is being received by other people. He is quite a good sales leader, probably because he is aware of how he is being received and can adapt and adjust to the other party’s preferred style. We discussed the concept of mirroring the language of the other party and coined the phrase, “let the client drop the first f-bomb.”

Salespeople today must be valuable to their prospects and clients. Because there is so much information available to any potential buyer of your services, it is incumbent upon your sales team to be more than just people who can provide information about your products. Your team must be able to interpret the needs of the client and connect with that prospective client on a deeper level than just in the old-fashioned buyer-seller relationship. They must convey to the prospect that they actually understand the prospect’s plight and will help them improve their situation.

Your prospects and clients need to actually TRUST your salespeople. They must RESPECT your salespeople. We need them to see your salespeople as a VALUABLE resource. In order to do that your salespeople first need to truly connect with their prospects. The easiest way to initially connect is to act and speak in a fashion that the other party will accept.

Salespeople Must Be Willing and Able to Adapt


You see, salespeople need to be chameleons. They need to operate in a variety of situations and use the language and manner that is most appealing to their prospects and clients. Many skilled salespeople, sales leaders and company leaders have experienced success because they inherently get this concept. They don’t operate with the mentality that “you get what you see”. They operate from the perspective of adaptation. These skilled salespeople adapt their style to the style of the prospect or client and the client can then accept the message more easily and will connect on a subconscious level with them. When done well, the prospect feels the connection with your salesperson because they believe they are similar to themselves.

The difficulty is that a one-size-fits-all approach is exactly the opposite of what will work. Skilled salespeople choose their words, their syntax, their manner, their body style to mirror and reflect that of the prospect. They tap into the behavior style of the other party and can then choose their language and manner of delivery based on the other party. This enables the prospect or client to receive the message more easily. It helps elevate the salesperson from Peddler to Peer©.

Therefore, while I don’t advocate using language that is uncomfortable, or throwing your own moral standards out the window, remembering to let the client drop the first f-bomb, is good advice in teaching your salespeople how to connect.