We insure ourselves against unlikely disasters. We purchase hurricane and flood insurance, earthquake and tornado insurance; sometimes we pay for kidnapping and ransom policies. Some individuals have even deemed it prudent to take out policies in the case of alien abduction. In fact, over 30,000 alien abduction insurance policies throughout Europe were written by one London based firm. Perhaps the very first company to offer UFO abduction insurance was the St. Lawrence Agency in Altamonte Springs, Florida, publicly stating that it has honored at least two claims – paying the claimants $1 per year until their death, or for 1 million years, whichever comes first.
The question therefore remains, how will I know if I need alien abduction insurance? It might help to ask yourself the following questions:
1. Have I ever been abducted by aliens in the past, and if so, did they install a tracking device about or within my person?
2. Do I own seasons 1-9 of The X-Files seasons on Blue-ray?
3. Do I live near any of the following areas, which according to jetpacker.com and weirld.com, are some of the planet’s UFO hotspots?
Mexico City, Mexico
San Clement, Chile
Warminster, Wiltshire, England
Wycliffe Well, Australia
4. Do I enjoy taking long walks alone in the woods at night?
5. Do I have plans to venture outside of the earth’s atmosphere for either business or pleasure within the next decade?
6. Have I ever worn a headpiece made of tinfoil?
7. Do I possess certain physical traits, knowledge, or powers which alien beings would deem extremely valuable?
Bearing in mind that it will be the claimant’s burden to prove the abduction event did indeed occur, if you answered yes to three or more of the above questions, it’s likely you’re a good candidate for alien abduction insurance.
Typical policies provide coverage for incidents such as death or injury by alien abduction or examination. At least one policy in existence covers both male and female impregnation by extraterrestrials. One might also feel like it’s a good idea to extend their policy with regard to damage incurred by alien abduction related time travel.
Whether you’ve been abducted by aliens before, are battling an overwhelming fear of UFOs and extraterrestrials, or just want to protect yourself as much as possible from the ultimate in unexpected eventualities, click here to connect with a YIQ trusted agent.
love the idea of alien abduction insurance. Our VC firm recently funded a start-up called Abduct.ly that’s a social network for people abducted by aliens: http://bit.ly/11dSbDM