the lingo show with bugs

About three times per week (sometimes more) I come across a new piece of Internet lingo. It might be an acronym, it might be a hashtag, or just some generalized term that’s been turned into something different. Simply of context from its traditional dictionary definition. Whatever its journey into Internet understanding, however, it’s clear that pretty much everyone else knows what it means. So I look up the phrase (usually on Urban Dictionary), and roll my eyes at how ridiculous it is. Either the term in general or my not having known it.

Personal feelings aside, however, it’s high time someone invented an acronym identifier. Preferably in app form. That way, whenever I look at some rando phrase and have no idea what it means, I’m roughly two taps away from getting an answer. Parents and part time Internet nerds alike could find solace in this face-saving dictionary. Yours truly included. Then as each generation aged, they could start using the app rather than trying to relive their glory days online – with embarrassing results.

And if we wanted to get all technical about it, the app could also do thing like suggest current lingo based on language and date. Logging in on a Thursday could suggest you post an old photo, while current location can lead toward check in nudges. Basically, it’s the social media newb’s guide to everything new. Which is great for those of who simply don’t have enough time (or patience) to take it all in. Especially when there is an acronym for every combination of letters ever.

App Bonus Tips

Perhaps the most important feature of all (IMO), could come in the form of an annoyance identifier. (Which would probably have to be a plug in for Buffer, HootSuite, or individual platforms.) Stick to infrequent, interesting posts, and your meter will show you as a smooth sailing, cool cucumber. Up the hashtag levels and emojis, and you gear toward rougher waters as an inexperienced first mate. But when you take it to the next level, post tens of times per week, tag everything and fit in as many acronyms as possible, a warning goes off. One that shows you as a shipwrecked captain forever stuck on Gilligan’s Island. That is, until you can get your act together.

Whoever is the maker of such apps, go ahead and invent this option already. I’ll only require a small amount of royalties. Promise.