Recently we looked at a sad case of Smug Complacent Agency Mail (SCAM) from somebody with an ebook and a great deal of hope. Where last week’s example was probably a lazy agency with a good idea, this week’s is, in my opinion, malpractice.

This large padded envelope arrived one day in July and , as you can see, told me it had a very important thing inside. Well who doesn’t like three-dimensional mail from unknown sources? Not this girl! In I went.

I guess if I paid $6.99 to mail dogfood to a stranger, I’d want to remain anonymous too.

Now clearly our mystery marketer has an agency that does much, much more than come up with ideas. This one comes up with C-O-N-C-E-P-T-S. The difference being the latter costs more. And they throw in this mystery animal dog thing that looks like a bit like the Tasmanian Devil ate a Smart Car.

And the mystery doesn’t end there, my friends. The sole call to action in this, well, this masterpiece, is a URL with a special access code. Can’t you just hear the applause after this was pitched to the Creative Director?

Out of curiosity and, perhaps in the dim hope that there was some kibble or a tennis ball in the offing, I went there. The URL offers no hint as to the site’s provenance and there is no evidence of Hand-Wringers insisting on a copyright line or disclaimer. So nothing left but to enter the code.

Oops wrong code. Try again. Still wrong. Once more. Damn. It’s only three digits. How am I screwing this up? I’m not. It just isn’t working. And because their customer paid extra for a concept, the agency has no redirect on the error or any place to seek help. This dog’s been dropped off in the countryside and left to fend for itself.

Naively I hoped to be harassed by a salesperson. But I guess high art such as this is debased by the involvement of crass commerce. And so it remains a mystery who sent me this bit of twaddle.

I certainly hope, that whoever they are, they have fired the incompetent agency that forced on them this disgraceful waste of trees, hydrocarbon, goodwill and time.

Bad dog, no CLIO.