What marketing jargon would you put in Room 101?Being content marketers, we love words. Beautiful words that go beyond merely communicating meaning, but evoke feelings, sounds and even smells; tantalising all of the senses, not just the eyes. ‘Recalcitrant’, ‘tabernacle’ and ‘gelatinous’ are particular favourites of mine, for example.

However, there is a sub-section of words and phrases that we don’t like. In fact, we’d go so far as to confess that we abhor this particular tranche of language, as do many other people. What are we garbling on about? Jargon, of course – more precisely, marketing jargon.

This may seem like an oxymoron – how can marketers despise their own spiel? The very technical slang that we have created and promulgated over the years? Well, we can only apologise and in an act of contrition, we have decided to consign various terms to the deepest, darkest, dungeons of our own Red Rocket Room 101…

We asked our customers, followers and the general Twittersphere for examples of their most loathed jargon. With apologies to Hat Trick Productions and the BBC, here are our favourite responses so far:

‘Low hanging fruit’

Describing an easy selling opportunity, there’s something of the (severe apologies here) scrotal nature about this horrible phrase. In marketing terms, it might refer to selling, say, content to a client who’s seeing lots of results with SEO and PPC and is thus receptive to additional services as they can see the benefits. However, as Mark the Head Honcho Flooring Guru says, it’s now “as corny as the ice bucket challenge” and should be got rid of. We’ve also been informed that these words can be used (how can I put this delicately?) by amorous individuals seeking ‘easy opportunities’ at the end of an evening. For those nasty reasons, ‘low hanging fruit’ is definitely dropped into Room 101.

‘Content is king’

Oh how many times have we heard this phrase in the last couple of years? There’s no denying the sentiment, but the sentence has become nothing more than a cliché. It’s even worse, says @MsJodieHarris on Twitter, when it’s paired with ‘…and conversion is queen’. We couldn’t agree more. The expression, of course, refers to the fact that content is one of the most effective marketing tools and anyone not taking advantage of it is missing out. Still, ‘Content is king’ has become so hackneyed as to render it excruciating. Into Room 101 it goes!

‘Relationship marketing’

We all know just how crucial it is to engage with customers, in order to retain them and attract news ones. It’s vital; it’s what marketing is all about. The concept of ‘relationship marketing’ removes the focus from sales and transfers it to customer satisfaction; sounds good, agreed. However, the term somehow feels empty, corporate and cold. It doesn’t convey the warm, personal intention and as Sue from Hoot Marketing emphasises: “Relationships are with people not with inanimate objects – brands! Have you ever heard anyone say ‘oooh yes I’m catching up with my close brand TESCO later’?” Bye bye ‘relationship marketing’, close the door behind you.

‘Black hat tactic’

Those of you that are familiar with SEO practices will know this jargon. It alludes to the underhand techniques and tricks that unscrupulous search professionals might use to guarantee their clients more traffic and improved their web rankings. They’re known as ‘black hat’ because they are not legitimate tactics and could ultimately cause the website in question to incur a penalty from the almighty search engine gods. However, as @tom_bourlet points out on Twitter, the phrase has been perpetuated and used to describe anything that strays even a little bit from the norm: “I hate the continued generalisation of calling anything slightly different a ‘black hat tactic,’” he told us, “many are useful tricks”. Good point well made. *Drop-kicks into Room 101*

‘Tribe of ambassadors’

There are lots of terms that brands like to use to communicate how cohesive their people are; how they all live and breathe the company’s goals and objectives; how they are total advocates and evangelists. These are all painful to hear, but none so much, suggests @MyMillsBaby as ‘tribe of ambassadors’: “I get a mental image of stuffy corporates on an away-day in trackie bottoms!” Such a smarting statement has no business out in the marketing world, so it too can be locked away in that rapidly-filling room.

‘Eating our own dog food’

A suggestion originating from within RRM towers is this melodious declaration, a reincarnation of ‘talking the talk and walking the walk’, which in turn translates as: ‘we follow the advice we give to our clients’. This phrase was volunteered by our own Dai Howells, who admits he’s heard it bandied about within our own hallowed walls, for shame. And because we commit to transparency and ‘walking the walk’, this offensive utterance can too be consigned to that darkened room, never again to see the light of day.

There you have it, a cornucopia of jargon, safely stored away in Room 101 and never to be used again. Right?