For each of the past twenty years, my wife and I have watched National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation while putting up our Christmas Tree. Why we still laugh uncontrollably at the same bits we’ve seen so many times is something our kids may never fully understand, but I digress.

ClarkThis classic movie’s plot centers around the plans Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) has for surprising his family at Christmas by having an elaborate swimming pool built in their back yard the following spring. Although the packaging company he works for is not obligated to pay out a Christmas bonus, Clark has always received one in each of his past 17 years working there. And because he’s performed exceptionally well this year, he uses what he received over previous years as his indication of what this year’s Christmas bonus will be. He’s all-but-certain that his forthcoming bonus will be more than enough to pay for this pool so he’s already made a sizable down payment on it.

After a near disastrous series of events for the Griswolds, Christmas Eve finally arrives and we find Clark’s family all huddled around in the living room. The doorbell rings and to his delight, it’s a company messenger carrying an envelope containing his long anticipated bonus. Before opening the envelope, Clark announces to his family that he’s spent that bonus on a backyard pool. Everyone cheers wildly as Clark opens his envelope only to find that there is no check, but in its place, a year’s membership to the “Jelly of the Month” club. Clark is so overcome with anger that he goes ballistic.

Then, …Well, I won’t spoil the terrific ending just in case you haven’t yet seen this holiday classic. But I highly recommend it.

Although hysterically funny, employers can derive a significant underlying moral from this movie. If you’re an employer, and you want to demoralize, disenfranchise, and demotivate your employees this holiday season, there are three surefire things you can do to accomplish that goal:

Keep it a Mystery
Hiding your presents from your children is a great way to build anticipation while allowing you the opportunity to video record their pricelessexpressions as they open them on Christmas morning. However, if your employees are anticipating a bonus (á la Clark Griswold), then keeping what they are getting and when is not such a great idea. Employees may be counting on that bonus for celebrating their holidays and the suspense of not knowing what’s coming their direction won’t justify the anxiety of being kept in the dark.

Don’t Give Anyone Anything
According to recent surveys by American Express, holiday gift giving by employers to their employees is on the rapid decline. Last year, only 27% of business owners gave out end-of-year bonuses, down from 35% in 2012. So, if you want your organization to join the race to the bottom and avoid a golden opportunity to stand out as an employer of choice, follow the trend and get your Scrooge on.

Give Every Employee the Same Exact Gift
Getting a year’s membership to the Jelly of the Month Club might not have been perceived as such a terrible present had Clark’s boss discovered that he was a closeted jelly aficionado or that his wife was passionate about canning preserves. However, this was obviously a gift that every other employee was getting just to placate them. But when you give the exact same gift to everyone on your payroll, you are, in essence, saying that no one is special and, therefore, you’re not going to put any thought behind exclusivity. So just give everyone an Amazon gift card, or a ham, or a coffee cup with the company logo on it.  There’s no better way of making your people feel like they’re a small cog in your big wheel.

ON POINT – With so many companies choosing to replace holiday bonuses for employees with annual performance bonuses, or simply eliminating them all together, employee expectations for Christmas bonuses are not what they once were. What a splendid opportunity to make your people feel valued and appreciated and make certain your culture stands out from the pack.