Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are the five stages of looming layoffs. We’ve all been through this full range of emotions in our working lives, especially those of us who have been laid off or lived with the rumors of layoffs at our workplace.
Denial – “I’ll never lose my job; it’s too crucial,” we say to ourselves. Or we make the excuse, “I do a job that no one else would want.” Either way, it’s not true. When it really matters and the music stops, there are only so many spots in each company, and lately, those spots have been shrinking in American firms.
Anger – At some point, we all get mad at the company for laying off so many of our friends and coworkers. How can those wealthy executives let go of so many of us who are just getting by, all to make the numbers look better for Wall Street? There’s also the idea that “this person is the boss’s favorite; they are safe, they won’t be let go.”
Truth is, the millionaires really don’t care about the anger of the thousand-aires in the trenches, and yes, like it or not, bosses have been known to play favorites. And while anger is a natural and healthy emotion in these uncertain times, it really does little good over the long haul. Those who you want to hear you can’t, don’t or won’t.
Depression – I see so many of my former colleagues in the media living under the specter of being laid off. Even though things appear to have leveled off a bit in the journalism world as the general economy slogs its way to recovery, the ghost of layoffs past, present and future still haunt everyone who I used to call a co-worker.
Depression and the stress related to layoffs is an emotion that hides just beneath a layer of occupational hopelessness in many industries today. Despite an apparent upturn in employment many workers are cautious while they wait to exhale and draw in the warmth breath of fiscal stability.
Acceptance – At some point we all realize that what is going to happen is going to happen. We’ve all seen extremely talented folks in every occupation be cast aside due to downsizing, outsourcing, industry shutdowns or living past their prime.
But there is also a peace that comes with acceptance. Peace in the knowledge that you did your best. Peace in knowing that the sun will rise in the east and set in the west, and you will be the same hard worker that you were the day before, the same father, the same friend, the same human being. Peace in knowing that every job — regardless of how large or small — is worth doing well and the only one judging you is you.
Students of psychology will recognize these as the five stages of grief that were spelled out in 1969 by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her book “On Death and Dying.” Her hypothesis holds that not all people facing death or extreme life-altering experiences will feel each of these emotions or in any certain order.
My hope with this post is to let you know you’re not alone. We all face fears in our lives — whether it’s the threat of a layoff or simply the great unknown — and it’s OK if you are feeling any or all of these emotions. It simply means you’re human.