With St. Patrick’s Day quickly approaching, green is all around us. However, that doesn’t mean everything we turn green this weekend is meant to be green. I know some will disagree with my list, but hey, to each her (or his) own.

Green Eggs and Ham

I love Dr. Seuss and his book, Green Eggs and Ham, however, the thought of actually consuming green eggs and green ham is revolting. And yes, I know they don’t taste any different than normal colored eggs and ham, but that doesn’t matter to me. Please, tell me, how do you put green eggs and ham in your mouth? I can barely even look at this picture of them.

Green Beer

I know plenty of people will argue this one with me, but beer shouldn’t be green. If you’re celebrating St. Patrick’s Day, grab a real Irish beer like a Guinness; trust me, it will taste better than your green beer. And it’s more authentic.

Green Ketchup

Do I even need to defend this one? I didn’t think so.

Green Oreos

Oreos should not be green. I don’t care if they’re mint flavored. If the Girl Scout Thin Mints aren’t green, why should Oreos be green?

Green Hair

Nicki Green Hair
(Source: Popculture Buzz)

Not even Nicki Minaj can pull off green hair, so I wouldn’t recommend trying it. You’ll either look like you made a huge hair color mistake or you’ll look like a clown. None of those options look or sound appealing.

Green Lipstick

Green lips? Why don’t you go ahead and paint the rest of your face green like The Wicked Witch of the West. But seriously, don’t pay for green lipstick, you might as well let that green beer color your lips for the day.

Green Donuts

These might be delicious, but I doubt it. Made with green tea powder, these might be the healthiest donut ever (I don’t actually know this), which totally defeats the purpose of a donut. They also look like fungus. Enjoy?

There you have it: my list of seven things that shouldn’t be green. Do you agree with me? If not, let me know in the comments below, or share some other things that should never be green.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!