As an experiment, I did a Google search on “Leading Provider of”
Wow! Lots and lots of hits.
Here’s an example:
A click on their website takes me to their “value proposition.” Here’s how they say it.
Olive Software is the leading provider of digital edition and digital archiving solutions for the publishing industry. Our solutions enable newspapers, magazines and other content publishers to cut printing and distribution costs, boost online traffic, and create new markets and revenue streams.
There’s one small problem. It is chest-thumping and prospective buyers hate chest-thumping. It’s a disaster.
Let’s re-write it for them.
Olive Software helps publishers (like newspapers, magazines and other content publishers) to cut printing and distribution costs, boost online traffic, and create new markets and revenue streams using digital technology.
What’s different about my rewrite? It focuses on the prospective buyer and the benefits they get – not what the company sells. Show it to any prospective customer. Betcha they will prefer my version to the company’s version.
Stop chest-thumping and instead focus on the buyer. The operative word is “You.” We want to talk directly to the prospect using simple language and share how they benefit from working with us. (My favorite marketing slogan of all time? “You’re going to like the way you look. I guarantee it.” “George Zimmer, Men’s Wearhouse” – It’s about you – how you will look, and not about clothing.)
What do you think? Do you have other examples to share? We love comments and those who share.