Elf On The Shelf is creepy, okay? This dude shows up at Christmastime, and watches your every move. He see you when you’re sleeping, watches you while you’re awake, and he’s keeping tabs on your behavior. Throw in a small body that could be watching you from just about anywhere, and the fact that Elfie’s own behavior isn’t so hot, and, well, the little guy is a terror.
In fact, it turns out that the reason he’s watching so closely is actually pretty sinister. Elf On The Shelf is out to get you.
1. He’s shown he isn’t to be trusted around other toys.
2. Don’t trust him with your pets, either.
3. He’s already been practicing his murderous deeds.
4. Attempts to arrest the Elf have been met with armed resistance.
5. Elfie has been caught showing too much interest in knives more than once.
6. The elf has never claimed to be a good guy.
7. He’s made it clear where his allegiances lie.
8. Don’t say Elfie never warned you.
9. Murder is in his little stuffed heart.
10. He’s been watching horror and suspense films, and taking ideas from them.
11. Elf On The Shelf has his own game in mind, of the Jigsaw variety.
12. Elf and Chucky wanna play. (The poor snowman got pulled into the game.)
13. Elfie will leave nothing but destruction in his wake.
14. Could the elf be any creepier? There’s only one way.
If there’s an Elf on the Shelf in your house this holiday, you’d better be on the lookout. The little guy is more dangerous than he looks. Also, whatever you do, don’t blink.