My tweets are great. Tremendous tweets, the best. All the other tweets. . . they don’t know what they’re doing. My tweets? Great stuff. Great.

11. I mean, this tweet. This is the best tweet in the world.


“Healthy young child goes to doctor, gets pumped with massive shot of many vaccines, doesn’t feel good and changes – AUTISM. Many such cases!” – 4:35 PM, March 28 2014 Permalink

10. The media is biased against me. Very unfair!

Donald Trump Arianna Huffington Tweet

“.@ariannahuff is unattractive both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man- he made a good decision.” – 11:54 AM, August 28 2012 Permalink

9. Winners: it takes one to know one.

Top Donald Trump Tweets

“The hatchet job in @NYMag about Roger Ailes is total bullshit. He is the ultimate winner who is surrounded by a great team. @FoxNews” – 12:09 PM, August 21 2013 Permalink

8. This tweet makes all those other tweets look like idiots.

Donald Trump Top Tweets

“Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest -and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure,it’s not your fault” – 10:37 PM, May 8 2013 Permalink

7. Eagles are winners. Winners protect other winners. Windmills are terrorists. America.

Donald Trump Protects the Eagles Tweet

“Windmills are the greatest threat in the US to both bald and golden eagles. Media claims fictional ‘global warming’ is worse.” – 5:19 PM, September 9 2014 Permalink

6. You know who isn’t American? Obama. Total disgrace.

Donald Trump Tweets Obama Birth Certificate

“Let’s take a closer look at that birth certificate. @BarackObama was described in 2003 as being ‘born in Kenya.’” – 4:31 PM, May 18 2012 Permalink

5. The Middle East is a complicated business, complicated.

Donald Trump Tweet Oil Dumb Leaders

“We should have gotten more of the oil in Syria, and we should have gotten more of the oil in Iraq. Dumb leaders.” – 4:28 PM, March 16 2012 Permalink

4. Russia? Our biggest adversary, and they know a loser when they see one.

Donald Trump Anti Russia Tweet

“Russian leaders are publicly celebrating Obama’s reelection. They can’t wait to see how flexible Obama will be now.” – 3:11 PM, November 8 2012 Permalink

3. Russia? Great country, great.

Miss Universe Moscow

“The Miss Universe Pageant will be broadcast live from MOSCOW, RUSSIA on November 9th. A big deal that will bring our countries together!” – 12:00 AM, June 19 2013 Permalink + BFF4EVR

2. Nobody responds to terrorism better than me. Nobody.

Donald Trump Terrorism Response Tweet Charlie

“If the morons who killed all of those people at Charlie Hedbo would have just waited, the magazine would have folded – no money, no success!” – 10:13 AM, January 14 2015 Permalink

1. Losers: I have no patience for them. No patience. None.

Donald Trump Top Tweets Born Fucked Up

“Every time I speak of the haters and losers I do so with great love and affection. They cannot help the fact that they were born f*cked up!” – Me, President-Elect of the United States of America, 9:21 PM, September 28 2014 Permalink

Down in Mexico, they’re tweeting some of the best tweets anywhere in the world, some of the most sophisticated, some of the best tweets. With the United States, not so much. Except for my tweets.

You can read 7,300+ of them here (warning: yuge files):

Nobody can beat my tweets. Ask anybody.