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I like to look at my analytics. I want to know how people found my website, where they found me, and what they were looking for. I also look at my analytics and dig deeper to determine how different people are using my site. I do this because it helps me make better decisions about the type of content that I create, how I structure my website, and more. And you should be doing the same. It’s an important part of the whole SEO (Search Engine Optimization) process, as you seek to give your customers what they want.
But that’s not my point here. When I check my analytics, I always look at what people were searching for when they found my site. Quite often I will use those searches to create the content they were looking for (or the content I THINK they SHOULD have been looking for). This sort of thing has been responsible for a few of my posts including How to Keep People from Replying to Tweets and How Facebook Hurts Businesses. People actually found my site while searching for those things, so I decided to address their concerns in my own tongue in cheek way.
But those aren’t the only interesting searches that have led people to my site. So I thought I would share a few more of them with you, and throw in a comment or two here and there. Some of these will make you scratch your head and wonder, “What were they thinking?”. Well, I don’t know what they were thinking, but let’s take a look and see what we find:
How do I get sales people to call me? – This one boggles me. Aren’t most of us trying to prevent sales people from calling us?
things to wrestle in – No clue where this came from. Are we talking about mud wrestling or Jell-O wrestling? I’m pretty sure that my website didn’t help them one bit!
random things Mennonites can’t do – I happen to live in Lancaster County, PA, the epicenter of the Mennonite world, and I have a blog post or two that mentions Mennonites. But this one really threw me. Of course when I mentioned this one on Twitter, my site was suddenly inundated by similar searches from some of my knuckleheaded friends, including “random things Ken Mueller can’t do.” Thanks, guys…
And while we’re on the subject of Lancaster and the Mennonites, I think I sense a theme:
why are Amish named Stoltzfus? – Well, they aren’t ALL named Stoltzfus. Sure it’s a popular name, but you won’t find the answer on my site. Some are actually named Lapp. Or King. Or Beiler.
And then there was this:
what do you do if you live in Lancaster County and can’t stand the sight of Mennonites? – Move to Ohio…er…Indiana…or…um…Virginia…Canada…never mind.
But not all of the searches relate to this area. Some are actually even more random:
3000 dollars worth of appliance - That’s right: appliance. Singular. Someone found my site while looking for $3,000 worth of appliance. That’s a really nice appliance. If they found it, I want it back. I could use a really nice appliance.
meaning for da and de – I’m assuming this person was looking for foreign language translation help. If they only knew that I’m the last person they should be asking for help.
shiny comfy shoes – Yeah…I got nuthin’. I’ve got some very comfortable shoes, but they aren’t shiny.
what makes a fantastic pa? – Do we mean “pa” as in father? or as in the abbreviation for Pennsylvania? As a father AND a resident of Pennsylvania, I’d like to think that I’m the answer to either of those questions. No? Let me have my moment, ok?
But of course, my website is dedicated to things like Social Media, business, and marketing, so not all of the searches are completely random. Many of them are about those topics, though…they can be pretty interesting:
I don’t talk to anyone on Twitter - OK, then. Thank you for telling me. Now why are you on Twitter again?
the book Engage for marketing book report – Not only is this person looking for a review of the book Engage by Brian Solis, but this search is even more specific: they are looking for a book report they can use for their marketing class. Hey, now! This is a respectable site! Don’t you dare use my review as your own to get an “A” in class. At least without paying me. You did get an “A”, right? I think I might have stumbled on a new source of revenue…
teanagers spamming my Facebook business page – Are teanagers any different than teenagers? Either way, why are those darn kids spamming my business page??
How to tell if employees are using social media to find a job – Just a hint: If you are that paranoid and worried about it, odds are that your business culture is such that they ARE looking for jobs. Not just on social media sites, but anywhere possible. Hmm. I wonder if Farmville is hiring…
Oh Facebook IM how can I add someone to chat if there no options to add them – First off, if there are NO options to add them, I’m thinking you won’t find an answer. Remember: No means no. But my favorite part of this query is how they began with “Oh Facebook”; I can almost hear them sighing as they plead with the platform, “Ohhhhh, Facebook…”. Sure, it’s probably a typo and they meant “on”, but it’s funnier this way.
how do i see everything i like on Facebook? - Everything? Well, you could make the job a bit more manageable by liking fewer things. Just make sure you like this.
who shows up on your chatbar while you’re offline? - Um…no one? And if you’re offline, does it matter? If a tree falls in a forest…
But apparently many people have similar issues and questions:
when i’m offline one person appears in my chatbar but then disappears – Again, if you’re offline, how can anyone show up in your chatbar? And who is this one person and why do they…disappear?
pickup lines for Facebook – I’ve been married 26 years and you’re asking me for pickup lines to use online? OK, how about this one: “If I said you had a beautiful avatar, would you hold it against me?”
wooden pegs for marketing – This is the digital age folks. No one uses wooden marketing pegs anymore. So old school. Psh.
how does traditional media overcome this problem? – er…what problem?
why is it important to the light on Facebook for business? – Um…I dunno. All your base are belong to me?
And of course my audience isn’t just local or national, it’s global:
sociala medier marknadsföring – That’s right, I’m HUGE in Sweden.
And then there are those who ALMOST find what they are looking for, but not quite:
11 mistakes businesses make with their fanpages – for this search they found my post titled “10 Mistakes Businesses Make on Facebook.” The searcher came to my site and only stayed for a total of 10 seconds! They were looking for 11 mistakes, and I only offered them 10. I was soooo close! Now I’m gonna go crazy until I figure out which mistake I apparently missed!
But it’s not all about marketing. Sometimes people come to me with the deep philosophical questions in life:
why do wile e. coyotes attempts to catch the roadrunner always backfire? – You know, I really don’t have an answer for this. I think it has something to do with the fact that he ALWAYS buys his stuff from Acme. Acme clearly makes inferior products. If Wile E. Coyote had used his Social Media connections on Twitter and Facebook and asked his community for recommendations, I’m sure he would have found better products and the Roadrunner would have been on the dinner table in no time flat. Dang. I just wasted a good blog post!
why am I tripping up the stairs? – Believe me, if I knew I’d find a way to help myself. I have the same problem!
how do you know if you like or love someone? – Again, this could be another great revenue generator for me: my own personal advice column. If they are good looking, you like them. If they are rich, you like them. If they are rich AND good looking, you love them!
I can do it because I can – Whoa. Holy philosophical thinking, Batman! And if you can do it, why did you come to me? Oh, maybe because I can do it better???
Some of the searches are of a more pressing, informational nature, and I’m glad I can help out correcting some of the misinformation that is out there:
Asian player who subbed for Chase Utley – Well, see here I have the ability to correct the searcher. I’m pretty sure you are talking about Wilson Valdez, who, if his name doesn’t already give it away, isn’t Asian. In fact, he is from the Dominican Republic. And yes, I did write a blog post about him!
And then sometimes there are a few searches that seem as though the searcher is talking to me. I mean, directly to me:
haha. nice one – Thanks! I’m glad you liked it. er…whatever it is.
thanks for giving me the money -You’re welcome…when did i do that? But I do appreciate the politeness.
he bring it before you called me – He did? What…the money? And who is he?
you call me you people – I read this one as “You call me…you…people!”. Obviously they want me to call them. If only they had left their number.
867-5309 – Yeah. I’ll just leave you with that…Enjoy!
What are some of the more interesting searches people have done when they end up finding your site? Have you ever used those search terms as a way of guiding what you blog about?
