The presentation was on vulnerability and much of the material was based on his book, Getting Naked, where he discusses how businesses need to shed three different fears that prevent us from gaining client/customer loyalty. Lencioni’s talk was incredibly inspiring, and quite frankly, full of common sense. Even he admitted that a lot of what he was speaking about was stuff we already know, saying that,
People need to be reminded more than they need to be instructed.
I think that rings true with a lot of business advice, particularly within the social media and marketing realms, which is why you’ll see me hammering home a lot of common themes over time.
As for allowing ourselves to “get naked”, Lencioni says that,
With vulnerability comes a possibility of suffering, but along with it also comes a huge possibility of success
Like Lencioni, I believe that being vulnerable, and allowing yourself to be wrong at times, even in the presence of your customers or employees, is a strength, not a weakness. As I work with clients, we go over scenarios of how to respond to questions or comments when they get them via social channels. One thing I always tell them is that we need to learn how to say,
I don’t know
and be comfortable with that response. There is nothing wrong with admitting our lack of knowledge, in the same way that there is nothing wrong with uttering the phrase,
I was wrong
Our culture dictates that saying these things is wrong, as we seek to save face. We are told that we need to look good at all costs, not just physically, but intellectually. Pride is an awfully nasty friend, and yet we cling to it.
We need to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, which is closely related to that buzzword: transparent. A lot of folks dismiss transparency in social media because they misinterpret what it means. It’s not about revealing every little thing about yourself. It’s about being honest in what you do choose to reveal, and not being misleading in your omissions.
Here is a synopsis of the three fears that Lencioni says keep us from being vulnerable, with my notes interspersed with those provided to us on our note sheet.
1. The fear of losing the business (the fear of rejection) – When we see something that is wrong, we need to speak up, and “speak the kind truth,” or “speak the truth in love”. Sure, we might lose some business if we call our clients out on things, but they might just respect us. I would rather speak up and lose some clients, and hopefully attract the right kind of clients.
Or as Lencioni says,
Enter the danger
2. The fear of being embarrassed – Remember those times when you had a question in a class, but were afraid to ask it because you thought everyone would think it was a stupid question? And then someone else asked the same question only to be told, “Great question!”? It’s happened to all of us. Lencioni says we should “ask the dumb question anyway.” In a meeting, float that “dumb” idea. He notes that,
When others know we are more concerned about them than about ourselves and our own reputation, it builds trust.
There’s absolutely nothing with being wrong. Sure, some of our questions will be dumb, but some of them might just be brilliant.
When we acknowledge our humanity it’s attractive
Real people, if they are honest, are attracted to those who are human, in all of their imperfection. We spend way too much time and effort trying to be “right” and perfect. Which is silly, because none of us are perfect.
Again, to paraphrase Lencioni,
If you pass gas in public, own up to it. Don’t try to hide it
We all know it was you, so why not just fess up and turn that embarrassment into being real?
3. The fear of feeling inferior – This is especially true of those in management. We don’t want to feel inferior to our employees, but this is bound to happen, especially if we surround ourselves with good people. In fact, I’m inspired when I go into a business and see the top people rolling up their sleeves to pitch in. A local grocery store chain, Darrenkamps, is comprised of three stores, owned by three brothers. These are full-service grocery stores, no smaller than any of the larger chain stores. And yet, when you go in, you’re just as likely to be served by one of the Darrenkamp brothers as you are by one of their minimum wage, high school aged employees. That guy doing the cleanup in aisle six might just be one of the owners.
This is why I talk about the concept of putting “Others First” as being integral to the culture of your small business, as well as permeating your marketing efforts. Be more interested in “them” than in yourself. Or as Lencioni says, even if it’s below you and not in your job description,
Do the dirty work anyway
This is rare and refreshing. These are the businesses to which I’m attracted, both as a consumer and a consultant.
Lencioni sums it all up by noting that,
Vulnerability is powerful and attractive.
Once we admit this, and put it into practice, with our customers and our employees, it will be transformative, both for ourselves and our businesses.
Go on. Be vulnerable. Get naked. No one wants to see you put on airs.
Patrick Lencioni will be speaking again at this year’s Global Leadership Summit. If you’re in Central PA, you can attend at one of three LCBC locations. If not, check online for a participating venue near you.
Last year’s Summit also featured folks like Seth Godin, Cory Booker, and Len Schlesinger. In addition to Lencioni, this year’s speakers include Jim Collins, Sheryl WuDunn, Condoleeza Rice, William Ury, John Ortberg, and Pranitha Timothy, among others. You won’t regret attending.
How are you seeking to be vulnerable, both personally and in your business?